Project Cafe - Requirements for Success

So Nintendo's E3 Press Conference is just days away - as is the public unveiling of their new console - codenamed Project Cafe. Ignoring all the speculation, I thought I'd have a think about what Nintendo needs to do with Cafe, to ensure that the console is a success - and by success I mean 'accepted by gamers'.

OK, so in my eyes there are 4 key areas for success:

1. A functional and easy to use online system
2. Hardware comparable to the next-gen Sony & Microsoft machines
3. Triple-A third party support
4. Killer apps at launch

Now, points 1 & 2 will both contribute to point 3, which will also contribute to point 4 - but I'm going to run through these one-by-one regardless, so relax.

A functional and easy to use online system

It's simple, rip off Xbox Live and rebrand it. As long as it has a single sign in (not game specific), and the ability to download demo's, virtual console, Cafe-ware, downloadable content and patches we'll be sweet. Also the ability to add randoms after an online match (although this may be game specific) would be nice. 

I've been hearing things about spectator modes - and I like the idea - but baby steps, we need to be able to see at a glance which friends are currently online and what they're playing. The ability to join them/send them a message at that time is a must. If I'm playing Game X, and my friend logs in an starts playing Game X too, I need to know about that.

Voice chat needs to be integrated through the console itself (not game specific), but also the option to use a wireless (bluetooth/usb whatever) keyboard too. Acheivements/Trophies/Stars (for a Nintendo-themed option) needs to happen. Too many Wii games are adding similar systems that have zero impact on anything else. Obviously developers want to include this type of thing - it needs to be integrated.

Hardware comparable to PS4 & Xbox720

Who knows how far away the next iteration of Sony & Microsofts machine's are - I suppose that depends on how well Cafe is received - but Nintendo need to ensure that they are not technically gimped again. I'm not just talking about graphical power here either.

The Cafe controller needs to have all the features and the same number of buttons as PS4/Xbox720 controllers. This is a biggie. The Gamecube only had one less button than PS2/Xbox, but they also didn't have  'clickable' analogue sticks. That's essentially 3 less buttons. And the Wii Remote? Don't even get me started. The Classic Controller (Pro version) needed to be bundled with the Wii. Note that additional features - such as the rumoured touch screen  - won't detract from this, so long as the touch screen is not expected to be used as a substitute for buttons.

If Cafe has a robust online system (see above), it needs to have some form of storage - preferably a hard drive (storage is so cheap these days it's ridiculous). It needs to be big storage too - at least 50GB - and preferably the ability to add storage via an external USB device too (just in case). Demos, save data, virtual console, cafe-ware all take up space. We don't want the 'cleaning out the fridge' debacle that the Wii suffered, and we don't want Cafe-ware developers to have to be restricted to stupid size restrictions ala WiiWare either.

In terms of graphics and RAM etc, Cafe needs to ensure that it's comparable. If the system is far less powerful that PS4/Xbox720, multiplatform titles either won't come, or they'll be B-team ports with limited features. 

Finally the little things - HDMI/Component/Composite out is a must - preferably all provided in the box. Dolby Digital 5.1 sound is a must. I'd say Nintendo will use a proprietary disk format again - but it needs to be high capacity - 30GB at least. As for resolution, 720p minimum for developers, 1080p maximum resolution. 

Triple A 3rd Party Support

History tells us that if we get my first two points right, Triple A third party titles are much more likely to come to Cafe - but Nintendo need to do more! They need to make partnerships with Western developers and publishers, offer incentives - get those exclusives (timed or otherwise). 

Things like having Link & Gannondorf in Soul Calibur V (remember how big Soul Calibur II sold on Gamecube??) ensures that the Cafe version is the definitive version. Make deals with Activision, EA, Rockstar - get Call of Duty, Dragon Age, Grand Theft Auto etc on Nintendo systems. If Western developers don't already have Cafe DevKits they need to get them quick smart - throw money at them to support it.

I remember when Wii was announced, and it had all this 'awesome' third party support.While Konami had Metal Gear Solid 4 for PS3/Xbox360, Wii had Elebits. While Ubisoft had Prince of Persia for PS3/Xbos360, Wii had Red Steel. While SquareEnix had mainline Final Fantasy titles on PS3/Xbox360, Wii had Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles. While Capcom had Resident Evil 5 on PS3/Xbox360, Wii had a remake of Resident Evil 4, and some RE light-gun spin offs. Notice a trend here? I bet you can guess which games sold more copies too, despite the higher Wii install base.

Simple fact, B-team games will get B-team sales. If Nintendo can convince developers to put their AAA titles on Cafe, and they are full-feature or have exclusive content for Wii, they will sell. 

Killer Apps at launch

The 3DS launch showed Nintendo exactly how not to do things. You need killer apps - whether they are Nintendo made or 3rd party. I'm talking a main-line Mario, an online F-Zero, Super Smash Bros from Nintendo (at least one of) and from 3rd party's: Soul Calibur V, Mass Effect 3, Grand Theft Auto 5.

Something that is so hot, that you can't afford not to have Cafe. Cafe needs a Super Mario 64, it needs a Halo.

Now, here is my semi-off the wall idea for Cafe. Include Animal Crossing in the Project Cafe firmware. Your Animal Crossing house is the OS. Play games by using the TV. Use the Cafe shop by using the computer. See achievements at your trophy cabinet. See friends by using the diary. The interface for this is menu driven - not avatar-driven, but choose to leave the house, and you're full-on playing Animal Crossing.

I'm ready Nintendo - it's time to drop the bomb.

Just a small leap across the pond

Here's the state of play. The Wii for all intents and purposes is dead in the water. Nintendo have confirmed that they will be showing off their new console at E3 2011 (like 11 days away) - and that it will be released early 2012. So what does that mean for the Wii - well the software has all but dried up.

Sure we've still got The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword to look forward too - but that is about it.

Hold up, that's not entirely true, Japanese Wii owners are getting a new Nintendo published game every month until the end of the year. Western gamers however haven't had any guarantees. This shits me. I hate region locking (in the technical sense), but I hate it even more in the physical sense. If a game is finished - release it everywhere. Every other publisher in the world has this figured out - except Nintendo. It shits me to tears.

Here's a quick list off the top of my head of some games that I've had to import to play this generation on Wii - games which all have English voice acting and English text mind you:

• Trauma Team (NTSC-J and NTSC-U only)
• Excitebots (NTSC-J and NTSC-U only)
• Punchout (Exclusively stocked in Australia by JB HiFi)
• Disaster: Day of Crisis (NTSC-J and PAL only)
• Lost in Shadow (All regions - but NTSC-J released with English text 8 months before NTSC-U & PAL release)
• Kirby's Epic Yarn (PAL release delayed over 5 months)
• Zangeki no REGINLEIV (NTSC-J only - no English voice or text)

Note that I've also missed out on Fatal Frame IV because Nintendo refused to localise it (a franchise which has traditionally done better in Western markets) - and also Captain Rainbow, a new IP which features D grade Nintendo characters, and looks off-the-wall crazy - again, because Nintendo refuse to localise it.

Now, what is the point of my rant? My point is, at this stage my 3 most anticipated Wii titles are: Xenoblade, The Last Story and Pandora's Tower. The problem - well The Last Story & Pandora's Tower don't have NTSC-U or PAL release dates yet, and given that it has taken Xenoblade about 10 months to be localised, I think Nintendo will but these games in the too hard basket.Talk about infuriating!

So let's look at these games individually - try and figure out why I'm looking forward to them so much.

Xenoblade Chronicles (developed by Monolith Soft) 

I just gave you the answer right there - it's developed by Monolithsoft. Seriously, I don't think these guys have a bad game in them. I'm replaying Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean at the moment, and it is the greatest RPG I've ever played - and I've just imported Baten Kaitos Origins to play after it (yep BKO suffered the same fate I'm ranting about during the Gamecube to Wii transition)!! Anyway, Xenoblade has such a massive, expansive world - a world in which the inhabitants live on giant robots who are locked in eternal battle. Fucking hell - it is easily the most awesome thing EVER! The good news is that it's scheduled for a September release in Europe (and I'll be importing). Cannot wait!

The Last Story (developed by Mistwalker)

OK, so Mistwalker is the new studio of the original Final Fantasy creator (before Square whored the shit out of the game). Anyway, this one has an interesting battle system, and looks absolutely epic. IGN were nice enough to record the first chapter (of which there are 44) and upload it with commentary, and the set pieces, and the environments look amazing. Truly breathtaking stuff. It released in Japan in January, so theoretically, we could see a Western release by years end if the localisation team have been having a go (read: me desperately hoping that this is the case)

Pandora's Tower (developed by Ganbarion)

This one is a little dark, but I think it is a direction that Nintendo could really find an audience if they were willing to explore it. This is basically an action-adventure title, much in the same vein as The Legend of Zelda, but the themes are darker, the level progression is jumbled up, and much like Xenoblade, there is a huge emphasis on verticality. I'm gonna explain this a little more, because it is honestly the one I am most excited about. 

Basically this chick Ceres has a curse, and it transforming into a hideous monster. The only way to save her is to collect the hearts of beasts from the 12 Towers, and feed them to her. Thing is, Ceres is a vegetarian (read: queer), and she has to eat the hearts raw (I know right - brilliant). Anyway, apparently there is a timed component to this - if Ceres isn't fed quickly enough, the effects will come back - this means that you may need to race through some Towers again and again to continue to feed her. I like this idea - especially, if they mix up the Towers a bit - higher class enemies etc.

Also, these Towers feature some amazing architecture, and as I mention, the focus is on verticality - that is moving up and down, rather than just left/right/forward/back. As a video gamer, this confuses the brain, because most games don't deal with this! It's a huge paradigm shift. One that I'm very excited for!

Pandora's Tower releases today in Japan. I will riot if Nintendo don't mention it at E3. I want it. If they don't release it outside of Japan - I'm going to learn Japanese. It's that critical.

Welcome to the Galaxy!

OK so check me out. In 1997 I got a Nintendo 64. I think that was the day that my life changed - seriously. The reason: Super Mario 64.

This thing was unbelievable. Truly revolutionary. It was pretty much the only game I played for a year (I had to borrow 500 bones from my folks to buy a 64 and Mario - took me a year to pay off!). Lulz.

Anyway, I've been pretty critical of the 3D Mario games that have followed Mario 64. Sunshine had awesome controls, but terrible level design and Galaxy is too linear. But having played through the first 37 Stars of Super Mario Galaxy 2 - a game which follows the linear model of Galaxy 1, I'm throwing out that complaint.

Linearity in games is by no means a bad thing. Linearity can provide focus, it can enhance the impact of the moment. Linear design can also increase the awesomeness of sequence breaking, over that of a sandbox model - because you're breaking the rules.

Super Mario Galaxy 2 has some of the best level design I've ever seen. The transition from 3D to the 2D sections is seamless and natural, the gravity effects play havoc with your senses, the camera angles are dynamic and intelligent, and the difficulty is challenging yet achievable. And because the levels are primarily linear, all these elements are so much more refined, as the game does not have to account for the user doing something out of the ordinary.




Know this peons, Mario Galaxy 2 is kicking my ass, and I'm loving it. Seriously I'm like a kid in a candy store.

There is this one section where you are on a cylindrical planet, and the gravitational force is from inside the cylinder. Because of this, you can drop from a ledge and fall endlessly around this cylinder until you hit a platform. It's mind bending stuff.

Another section had Mario running towards the camera, with a King Boo (giant ghost) chasing closely behind. Anyway, if you aren't running at full speed you will get caught. But if you are running at full speed, you get about half a second to react if there is a gap in the path or enemy in front of you. It's twitch gameplay at it's best, but the cinematography totally makes the experience.

But there is one moment that I'm going to take away from Mario Galaxy 2 above all else (thus far of course) - and to be honest, I am kicking myself that I allowed this moment to be spoiled for me pre-release - and that is the return of slides. Yes SLIDES. The fact that I knew about their return, and still got SO excited is a testament to how insanely awesome the slides were in Mario 64. And the best thing - the return of Peach's Secret Slide music! Check out the original and the new version below.







Super Mario Galaxy 2 is phenomenal! Will it overtake Metroid Prime as my favorite game ever? Probably not. But the level of creativity on display is absolutely off the hook, and can only be attributed to what I assume is an almost lethal combination of hallucinogens, happy gas, caffeine and hookers. Think about it.

As it stands right now, every day I go to work and day dream about getting home and playing some more Mario Galaxy 2. I haven't done that in a long-ass time. If you haven't already picked up a copy, do it, before I snatch your ass in a bear trap. I'll make your eyes all black and blue and shit.

Audi.

E3 2010 = Done. Me = Hyped

So I'm a gaming fanatic. And for people like me (nerds) it doesn't get any bigger than E3.

With E3 done and dusted for another year, lets have a look at what caught my eye (hint = NINTENDO!!)

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii - Release: 2011)
I love me some Zelda. Absolutely love the franchise. As such, I was SO looking forward to seeing the new Zelda title. So Nintendo delivered a playable demo - and it's Wii Motion Plus compatible (compulsory), and has a water-colour-ish graphical style.

The demo focussed on the controls - and I'm not impressed. I really don't want to be swinging around like a madman (ala Red Steel 2) for a 40+ hour adventure. Also I hate the idea of the 3D mouse to select your item. Just use the damn pointer.

Speaking of items, what the hell is up with only having 8 slots? Seriously, 8 items? 2 of those are the Slingshot and the Bow. What is the point? Nobody uses the Slingshot after they've acquired the Bow. Nobody!

Also the controls for the items look rubbish and gimmicky. Wii Sports Resort archery is cool, but in a combat situation (aka Zelda) - no dice. Give me pointer controls (ala Twilight Princess).

Anyway, apparently the playable demo from E3 isn't actually part of the game, so we can't really read too much into that. Let's just hope that we get a whole bunch of clever puzzles, some amazing dungeon designs, a re-thought system of game progression, and most importantly I want the controls to work.

Total Hype = B-

Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii - Release: 2010)
Let me get this out of the way - I don't really like the original Donkey Kong Country titles. I find the level design boring, and the controls unresponsive. I liked Donkey Kong 64 - although it has aged terribly. I LOVED Donkey Kong Jungle Beat. That game was amazing. The level design, the gameplay hook, the sound. Fantastic stuff. Now with Retro Studios at the helm, I am VERY excited about DKCR. Retro Studios are all about level design, ambience, sound engineering etc.

Just looking at some of the stuff that they showed off in their trailer it just looks off the freaking hook. The sillhouette style of some levels, the tag-team moves - man, can't wait.

Total Hype = A+

Kirby's Epic Yarn (Wii - Release: 2010)
I've never played a Kirby game, but Epic Yarn is my kind of game I think. The artstyle is beautiful, and the way it's linked to the core gameplay mechanic is beyond brilliant. Reminds me oh so much of the Paper Mario titles - and that my friends is one of the biggest compliments I can give.

Now we don't know too much about how the game actually plays, or progresses etc, but I have faith in Sora and Nintendo. Sure it may seem kiddy - but fuck it, I'm comfortable with who I am.

Total Hype = A-

Mortal Kombat (Xbox360 & PS3 - Release: 2011)
I love the original Mortal Kombat Trilogy. I spend many months hammering MK3 with my mate Big Bear. We had every move, combo, fatality, friendship, and animality down for every character. It was amazing. And while I've still kept up with the cannon of Mortal Kombat since then, I really didn't get into the games much after that (MK as a 3D fighter was a BAD idea).

Anyway, this new Mortal Kombat looks immense. Now a 2D fighter (with 3D models), going back to the original characters from the Trilogy, and bringing back the gore, in a big, BIG way. So much so that I doubt this game will pass the Australia censors - but alas, that's another blog entry. The inclusion of Reptile, Nightwolf and Kung Loa means that this game is a Day 1 purchase!

Total Hype = A

Metroid: Other M (Wii - Release: 2010)
As a relative newbie to the Metroid-verse. Metroid Prime broke my cherry (best game ever BTW). Metroid: Other M is going to be excellent. It looks amazing, I love the setting, I love the control scheme and the auto-aim, hell I even love the idea of a deeper narrative.

I see alot of complaints about 'it's not Metroid because you need to be authorised to use certain weapons'. What a load of horse shit. That may be the case for the intro level (which is all anyone has played mind you), but that won't be the case for the rest of the game. The dude with the authority, Adam Malkovich, dies sometime between Super Metroid and Metroid Fusion - the exact time that Other M covers. He is dying early in this game. No doubt. Once that occurs, its gonna be old school Metroid - but better.
August cannot come fast enough. Bring it!

Total Hype = A+

Nintendo 3DS
I'm not a big handheld gamer. Sure I own a GBA-SP and a DSLite, but I don't own many games. I'm also not interested in stereoscopic 3D. But the 3DS has such an amazing looking lineup that I just cannot ignore it.
All new Kid Icarus, all new Pilotwings, all new Paper Mario - 3 awesome, AWESOME franchises. Plus we have Lylat Wars (Star Fox 64) and Ocarina of Time remakes. Fuck yes.

 

While I am heart broken that Kid Icarus, Pilotwings and Paper Mario aren't coming to Wii, I understand that they are PERFECT games to showcase the 3DS technology. The missus expecially is upset about Paper Mario, she loves those games just as much as me.

But the 3DS hardware is truly amazing. Stereoscopic 3D without glasses - check. Gyroscopic control - check. Media player - check. Powerful as a mofo - check. 3rd party support including Metal Gear Solid, Assassins Creed, Street Fighter, Resident Evil, Splinter Cell, Dead or Alive and Saints Row. Holy fuck. That is more 3rd party support than the Wii and Gamecube have had COMBINED.

Total Hype = A


Now to the disappointments - No Pikmin shown. Lame. Fuck I love Pikmin. Just give it to me already. I don't even want any real improvments. Just 100 Pikmin on screen, the same 5 species, some different enemies, some new types of puzzles, and some hard-ass randomly generated dungeons. Sold. Take my money.

Also, no F-Zero. I need a new F-Zero. Monster Games (the team behind the awesome ExciteTrucks and ExciteBots) would be a perfect fit for this. They already have the motion controls, the sense of speed and the actual game mechanics in place. Just slap in the 30+ racers of the F-Zero universe, create some fantastically over the top tracks and we're done. It will be brilliant.

Finally, Star Fox. Treasure must make this. Sure, Namco screwed around with Star Fox on the Gamecube, but Treasure are shooter specialists. They know how to make intense, laser flying action. Just look at Sin and Punishment and Ikaruga. Hell, make it a joint effort between Treasure and ex-Factor 5 guys at White Harvest. Those guys know flying games!

OK, I'm going to finish my rant here. I think we can all safely say that the big loser here is my wallet. It's going to cop an absolute hammering with all these games coming out. Not to mention the games that are already out that I've yet to buy, or games that weren't shown at E3 for some reason. Here's a quick list: No More Heroes 2, Trauma Team, Lego Harry Potter, Batman Arkham Asylum 2, Sin and Punishment 2 and Xenoblade.

I really need to win Lotto and quit my job. Too much awesome gaming to be had, so so little time.

Chapter 1 - The obligitory tutorial level (aka 'About Me & My Blog')

So I've decided to start a blog (*hint* you're already reading it). Not really sure why. Maybe I like the sound of my own voice; Maybe I think someone will enjoy my ramblings and try to head hunt me (please do!); Maybe I just want to get my thoughts out of my head and into yours, so that you'll go crazy before I do. Take your pick. 

So who am I, why should you read my stupid blog, and what kinds of stuff can you expect to read about?

Who am I? Well I'm referring to myself as 'Uh Oh'. Not because I'm particularly clumsy, and not because I'm a slag who steals other girls boyfriends! My 'real life' friends all know the backstory behind this name, and I may choose to share this further down the track - but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves.

Why should you read my stupid blog? I dunno. You probably shouldn't if we're being honest with ourselves. Hell I'd much rather grab a carton of twist tops and get rowdy with the boys - but alas, I'm stuck at 'work'.

What can you expect from my blog? Random thoughts on my favorite topics as well as a cynicle perspective on the everyday experiences, that as a whole, make up my life. What are my favorite topics you ask? In short: video games, professional wrestling and rugby league.

I know, I know. I'm a nerd. And yes I am telepathic (just one of the skills I've learned from video games...) I'm not your stereotypical nerd however - I'm not severely underweight (or morbidly obese), I shower daily, I hold down a 9-5, I have a mortgage, I'm in a steady relationship, I've never played an MMO, and I have zero time for anime.

 Why is this blog called the 'Clock Town Chronicles'? Well 2 reasons I guess (maybe more...). The first is due to my love of Zelda (the game series, not the Aunt from Sabrina the Teenage Witch). For the non-Nintendorks out there, Clock Town is the setting for The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (buy it or else!), probably my favorite Zelda game. In this game, you replay the same 3 day cycle over and over (and over) again. It's pretty much Groundhog Day in video game form.

My life, often feels like Groudhog Day. Same shit, different day as "they" say. As such, this blog will 'chronicle' my thoughts and experiences, in a hope that I can look back and think to myself 'wow, you actually did do something cool this week/month/year'.

So here is the scoop. I'll be 'blogging' everyday from work (Monday to Friday - for those keeping score). Maybe more if I'm really bored. If you like my blog, tell your friends, the more the merrier. If you think I've ripped off an image from your site, all I ask is a few hours notice before you 'release the hounds'. If you've got a question or suggestion, let me know.

Uh Oh